My ex-girlfriend has, since we broke up, "found herself." She lives with a woman and practices Wicca. She bops around in her stupid floaty skirts and grows her own herbs and is trying to become a midwife. When we talk, I congratulate her on finding herself, but mostly I just think she's a moron. She's faking this like she's faked everything her whole life. And every time she uses some fruity, unctuous tone or some nutty new-age acronym, I want to mock her. I want to bring back to her attention all the bullshit "identities" she's had over the years and tell her to just stop fucking hating herself and be what she is.